焦虑是一种怎样的状态,这种情绪对人来说有什么意义?

发布时间:2017/01/14 21:00:02 投稿: 网友投稿

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导读: 【灰兔的回答(29票)】: 焦虑是「期末考试前晚,小伙伴看着你坐立不安的样子,怯懦的问你是不是有点焦虑」,你摇了摇头、默默的记了下来。 焦虑是「母亲絮絮叨叨谈着别人家的孩子,父亲看到你神色慌乱又畏畏缩缩,喝止母亲说再说孩子就该焦虑了」,你木然呆住...

【灰兔的回答(29票)】:

焦虑是「期末考试前晚,小伙伴看着你坐立不安的样子,怯懦的问你是不是有点焦虑」,你摇了摇头、默默的记了下来。

焦虑是「母亲絮絮叨叨谈着别人家的孩子,父亲看到你神色慌乱又畏畏缩缩,喝止母亲说再说孩子就该焦虑了」,你木然呆住,脑子里不住的浮现。

焦虑是「思想品德/心理健康老师放着投影,讲述焦虑是由现实或者预期中的不顺利,诱发的不愉快的情绪」,你似是而非的点点头,在笔记本上抄了下来。

几乎不再有研究者,把「焦虑」看作是天赋的、共识的情绪。从有趣的角度说,我们的焦虑只存在于「焦虑」或者「Anxiety」中;如果不触碰这个标签,取而代之的将会是「恐惧」、「紧张」或者持续的「痛苦」。

翻开近义词词典,「焦虑」有着一系列相似的词语,我们或许能分得清意境的差异,或许不能。简单的例子,高考前的十来天,有些学生会焦虑十来天;有些学生却复杂的多,他们会焦虑六七天,临近了又会感到隐隐的不安,到了考试前的那一天又出现了难以名状的紧张。

「焦虑」只是一个标签,是研究者们把一簇的现象方便描述所安放的标签,它或许意味着交感神经的一类活动,或许意味着对现实和未来不算好的评估。然而标签只是标签。注射些兴奋剂,告知的是生理盐水,会让人把兴奋感标识为「焦虑」;甲状腺功能的异常,没意识到甲亢的时候,很多人也把亢奋标记为「焦虑」。如果愿意,这个标签可以包含很多意味之外的感觉。

「焦虑」不只是一个标签,它在生活中反映着一类问题解决的图式,这些问题只有当我们标定「焦虑」的时候才能处理妥当。必须承认,标签附赠了很多标签以外的心理活动。焦虑的不舒服感会迫使我们停下脚步,重新审视现实和未来,「焦虑」也会自发的唤醒调节机制,有意识无意识的让我们的身心稳定而冷静,焦虑」也能吸引朋友的关注,或许他们在需要的时候可以拉你一把。

「焦虑」是学习来的,即使都是基于相似的情境相似的感觉,截然不同的经历也可能让我们的焦虑天差地别。我不会说每次的焦虑都会回溯到第一次听到「焦虑」的那个瞬间,但是无论如何也摆脱不了一个影子——你给这个标签添加的定义,它的内涵和它的边界——它播种在你年轻的时候,然后慢慢开花、结果。

有些人的「焦虑」是迷雾中隐藏着的或有或无的威胁;有些人的「焦虑」是不能等待的箱子里确定不了的希望;有些人的「焦虑」是现实和理想的落差带来的难以弥合的鸿沟;有些人的「焦虑」是眼界夯实不了的棉花糖般松软空虚的路;还有些人的「焦虑」只是吃不到好吃的时候无力的馋嘴和愤怒。

「焦虑」没有什么确定的样子,也没什么确定的意义,对不同人,也对同一个人。如果需要,「焦虑」大可以捏成我们希望它成为的样子,埋藏着我们希望它拥有的意义。然而——

对那时那地那人那事,焦虑的样子是确定的,意义也是确定的。那种感觉明确的告知我们它叫「焦虑」,就是为了告诉我们「喏,你看,现在的情况和记忆中的定义很相似,你正处在或有或无的威胁/确定不了的希望/难以弥合的鸿沟/松软空虚的路/馋嘴和愤怒的情境中。坏消息是你现在感觉很难受、很不舒服,你的血液如同轻纱般撩动着房室瓣,又如同钉子样穿透了你的表皮,准确的说你的血压有些高、心跳的也有些快;好消息是我们翻出了很多之前的存档,里面包括了标签使用的须知、过往关卡的攻略和高手指导的总结,如果不够的话,存档里连求助方式都提供了七八套,这可比一站到底轻松多了。」

当然,「焦虑」可不会这么萌,尤其在你不确定它的定义之前。所以,我给大家的第一条也是唯一一条建议是:

把这个问题抛给自己,认真回忆自己出现过的焦虑,它们都是什么样子,它们都有什么意义,它们是如何被解决的。这个问题别人说了不算数——除非——你不幸罹患了焦虑症,这就需要医生和心理咨询师的帮助了。

「焦虑」不是你的敌人,但是能不能成为朋友,就要看你自己对它的准备了。更多情绪相关的内容,欢迎阅读情不自禁 - 「知乎 ? 盐」系列。本人已委托「维权骑士」为我的文章进行维权行动,转载请私信告知。

【希望的回答(87票)】:

(别赞了,有点焦虑了。)眼界到位了,实力没跟上,不断地纠结。

【穆天晴的回答(59票)】:

焦虑(Anxiety)和恐惧(Fear)一直以来被认为能 触发生物在面对危险时的应激行为,以使生物个体少受损伤,从而在危险环境中生存下来[1]。从进化上来看,这二者似乎同源,在各生物的大脑内,处理恐惧与焦虑的通路和机制有很大的重合[2]。但随着生物的进化,这二者之间的差异性越来越大。

在神经认知研究中,已经发现某些脑部区域直接调制焦虑和恐惧,但这并不是说,这两种情绪/反应在脑部是单源的。相反的是,他们更像是脑部综合性的生理状态。是很多脑部区域相互联系和协调的结果:

恐惧通常有明确的诱因刺激,而焦虑则通常没有明确的单一刺激。焦虑更多的显示出情绪参与调制的特征[3]。因此,当人脑的情绪调制区域(前额叶等)受到损伤时候,其个体的焦虑反应会异于常态。除去此类神经损伤导致的焦虑,我们大部分人的焦虑情绪属于正常范畴。

焦虑由潜在性的、环境的和推测性的威胁触发[4-6]。由于这一层的复杂性,焦虑有更加复杂的调制机制,目前还不为我们所透彻了解。但是有一点得到越来越多的证据确认:人脑中处理特征情绪(奖赏、愉悦)的机制同时也参与处理负面特征情绪(焦虑、恐惧、厌恶)。这不仅体现在脑某些区域同时参与两种调制[7, 8],还体现在一些神经元同时对两种情绪反应[9, 10]:

所以,焦虑/恐惧 跟奖赏性体验/高兴,在基本生成结构上就不具有可分性。所以,焦虑/恐惧 跟奖赏性体验/高兴,在基本生成结构上就不具有可分性。当一个人具有更多的成就感,更多的快乐,TA也能跟深刻的体验焦虑/紧张/恐惧/压力等。正面情绪和负面情绪,是互相促进的一体两面。永远快乐/放松或者永远悲伤/焦虑,对一个正常的人都是不可能做到的,情绪上的Sensitive 和 Vulnerable具有相通性。在这个意义上,“焦虑”不能算作一种负面情绪,甚至于,在正常的范畴内,情绪没有正面和负面的区别。而每个人即使不了解这一点,在生活中也是默默依此操作:“人即使什么都不做也绝不稍微积极一点,即使认为自己孤寂也决不放弃独处”。

因此,现有的所谓治疗焦虑的药物,通过阻塞焦虑神经通道作用,不可避免的会使人对其他情绪的体验也受到阻塞。“焦虑治疗”这一类药物,可能是药物里面最没有效果也最没有价值的[11]。对于正常范畴的焦虑,并不值得恐惧,我们与其想要去规避它,不如去接受它,就像我们会毫不犹豫的接受快乐和情绪上的奖赏一样。目前经过验证的“能够应对焦虑”的做法之一是 Mindfulness Training (正念训练)[12, 13]:

其效果虽然被证明具有“显著性”,但是前后绝对差异并不算大:其效果虽然被证明具有“显著性”,但是前后绝对差异并不算大:

跟其他一切心理干预策略一样,正念训练也受到其各种因素对其有益性的挑战,比如被试/参与者不可避免的被心理暗示,即使被试/参与者什么也不做,仅仅用同样的时间来放松(注意力转移)也会有一样的效果 又及被试/参与者着力解决自己的工作生活问题可能会有更好的效果。所以很难说这是一种真正有效的方法,它可能仅仅是满足了我们“在遇到困境时候,需要去做些什么去解决困难”的强迫症。跟其他一切心理干预策略一样,正念训练也受到其各种因素对其有益性的挑战,比如被试/参与者不可避免的被心理暗示,即使被试/参与者什么也不做,仅仅用同样的时间来放松(注意力转移)也会有一样的效果 又及被试/参与者着力解决自己的工作生活问题可能会有更好的效果。所以很难说这是一种真正有效的方法,它可能仅仅是满足了我们“在遇到困境时候,需要去做些什么去解决困难”的强迫症。面对焦虑时,我们可能恰恰需要的是 置之不理

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[1] Tovote, Philip, Jonathan Paul Fadok, and Andreas Lüthi. "Neuronal circuits for fear and anxiety." Nature Reviews Neuroscience 16.6 (2015): 317-331.

[2] Davis, M. "Neural circuitry of anxiety and stress disorders. "Neuropsychopharmacology: The Fifth Generation of Progress. American College of Neuropsychopharmacology: Philadelphia, PA (2002): 931-951.

[3] LeDoux, Joseph. "Fear and the brain: where have we been, and where are we going?." Biological psychiatry 44.12 (1998): 1229-1238.

[4] Davis, Michael, and Paul J. Whalen. "The amygdala: vigilance and emotion."Molecular psychiatry 6.1 (2001): 13-34.

[5] Davis, Michael, et al. "Phasic vs sustained fear in rats and humans: role of the extended amygdala in fear vs anxiety." Neuropsychopharmacology 35.1 (2010): 105-135.

[6] Blanchard, D. Caroline, Guy Griebel, and David J. Nutt, eds. Handbook of anxiety and fear. Vol. 17. Elsevier, 2011.

[7] Paton, Joseph J., et al. "The primate amygdala represents the positive and negative value of visual stimuli during learning." Nature 439.7078 (2006): 865-870.

[8] Belova, Marina A., et al. "Expectation modulates neural responses to pleasant and aversive stimuli in primate amygdala." Neuron 55.6 (2007): 970-984.

[9] Lammel, Stephan, et al. "Projection-specific modulation of dopamine neuron synapses by aversive and rewarding stimuli." Neuron 70.5 (2011): 855-862.

[10] Morrison, Sara E., and C. Daniel Salzman. "The convergence of information about rewarding and aversive stimuli in single neurons." The Journal of Neuroscience 29.37 (2009): 11471-11483.

[11] LeDoux, Joseph E., and Jack M. Gorman. "A call to action: overcoming anxiety through active coping." (2014).

[12] Zeidan, Fadel, et al. "Neural correlates of mindfulness meditation-related anxiety relief." Social cognitive and affective neuroscience (2013): nst041.

[13] H?lzel, Britta K., et al. "Stress reduction correlates with structural changes in the amygdala." Social cognitive and affective neuroscience (2009): nsp034.

【林雨清的回答(19票)】:

好处是,不容易长胖。

【达能小王子的回答(3票)】:

个人理解,欢迎讨论。

我认为,焦虑类似一种深度的迷茫(强调类似),是一种因莫名的(或是极富目的性)不自知与其他复杂情感交织而成的消极情绪。这种情绪的形成过程,跟对外部事物的过度解读与内心的习惯性脆弱有一定联系。

焦虑区别于焦急,这两种情绪的共同点都是因不确定因素占据一定地位而形成的消极情绪,比如等待一个很重要的人,焦急是超过了时间人没来,焦虑是这个人始终没来,焦虑是焦急情绪酝酿到一定程度后的变异(人迟到了,焦急消灭,而人始终没有出现,焦急被催化成为焦虑)

本答案随时补充。

【忆胜男的回答(2票)】:

根本原因:

焦虑基因发挥作用。

举例:

比如在远古时代,你还是个猿人,明天就没东西吃啦,你焦虑啊,为了克服焦虑,你就去找东西吃;又比如你没有母猿人作伴,你焦虑啊,为了克服焦虑,你把身提练得壮壮的,然后去抢老大的老婆们。

当然明天没有东西吃,你可能还很恐惧;没有母猿人,你还可能“饥渴”难耐。这些感受都是你对现实的综合反应,这些感受会指导你下一步怎么办。

总结:

焦虑基因在人演化中,对我们的生存和繁衍有利,所以胜利的留下来了。

【Vincent的回答(2票)】:

适度焦虑让人激发潜能

过度焦虑让人变成焦驴

分清二者让人变得聪明,

焦虑本身让人感受存在。

客观来说,焦虑是一种具备多种表现形式的复杂心理状态,包括恐惧、担心、忐忑等等…大多数情况下在压力下产生,有时它是人们一种无以言表的未完成感,有时则是内心深处的一种不安全感,本质上是对当下的不满、对未来的不确定和对自我意识与来自外部力量的失控感,这种不适应总体来说带来负面感受。

过度焦虑不利于我们自如地应对生活的重重挑战,一旦陷入习惯性焦虑情绪,可能会诱发强迫症、妄想症甚至人格分裂和认知障碍,这种情况要及时调试。

适度焦虑则有助于我们认清自身状态,抱持警惕和刺激,类似“化焦虑为动力”,激发人的潜能。

如期末面对即将到来的大考而未做好准备,随之而来的焦虑会提醒我们抓紧时间复习,旅游遇到突发山体滑坡而神经紧绷而抱持高度戒备,这都向我们提供了一种自我防御的“预警”功能。

又如翻出年度计划发现已近年终却仍然有几项目标没能实现,跟预期的差距让人感到焦虑,同时使人对未来抱持更多危机感而去未雨绸缪,去激发斗志来应对挑战,故适度焦虑有助于我们不松懈地达成目标。

不过一旦察觉焦虑过度要立马制止,这种情绪控制能力很难练就,「度」的平衡也难以把握,不具备强大心理素质和相关知识技巧的人要慎学慎用。

另外,焦虑本身作为人类情绪中的一种,即展示了人类自我感知的能力,这种近乎“与生俱来”的应急机制,似乎也在焦虑产生的本身让我们感受到自己的存在。

情绪不一定都有积极意义,甚至都不一定有意义,都是人们的主观赋予和自我感受,接受他们,顺势而为,学会消解负面情绪的过程也即自我修行的过程。

【供词疑惑的回答(2票)】:

哪有那么玄乎,不要被那些伪心理学的所谓灵修的拍脑袋式的言论以及从他们那流传出的言论给忽悠了。

人类喜欢抽象,把某个东西打包命个名字具象化之后,就觉得自己已经成功了一半,殊不知有些人连被打包的东西是什么都不知道,就迷失在这个名字中无法自拔。

当然抽象在很多情况是个好方法,不过在这里,直接建议具体情况具体看,哪儿有纠结,就权衡利弊,哪儿有问题,就解决问题。

所以好处是,让你动起来。

【吴聪聪的回答(36票)】:

谁要是把这个问题理解透了,谁就彻底悟透了人生,

《焦虑的意义》里,人本主义和存在主义心理学家罗洛梅说,恐惧是我们面对着威胁,但是知道威胁是什么,但是焦虑是你知道自己面对着威胁,但是却不知道威胁自己的对象是什么。焦虑是一种眩晕,一种混沌。

克尔凯郭尔认为,焦虑是我们人生的学府,焦虑在说明我们有实现某种可能性的机会,但也有可能无法实现某种可能性,焦虑让我们学会了信仰。

《懂得生命》中,灵性心理学家麦基卓和黄焕祥说,基本上所有的焦虑,如果我们无法理解的话,大多时候指向了最终的焦虑,死亡的焦虑,因为人是这样的动物,我们不仅活着,我们还会知道自己会死,而动物不会,动物只是活着,获取食物,逃避天敌,繁衍后代。

有创造力的人肯定是要面对很多的焦虑的。

提出”心流flow"的心理学家米哈伊,说,我们总在焦虑和无聊当中徘徊。

但是,焦虑在我们这个国度好像经常被当作一个贬义词,“你又焦虑了!,不要焦虑吗,就这点事,有什么好焦虑的,不久一场考试吗,不就一次面试吗,。考前不要焦虑。其实这都是错误的方式,是不懂人性的表现。

要我自己说,焦虑对我们有什么意义,想说,焦虑就是我,我就是焦虑,我经常焦虑,我也会主动寻找焦虑,我也受焦虑的煎熬,我试着理解每次不一样的焦虑

焦虑不是一件坏事,也不是很好的事:但重点是你能承受什么样的焦虑

【瞅伊利亚的回答(4票)】:

如何克服社交恐惧

小贴士:

1. 告诉你自己,做真实的自己。请记住你没有必要在社交上做任何你不想要的事情。

2. 并不是每一个看起来自信且善于社交是真正自信的。有些人是故意表现出来的,事实上他们也很害怕。

以下内容来自于How to Overcome Social Anxiety (with Pictures)How to Overcome Social Anxiety

Six Parts:Recognizing Social AnxietyTackling Fears Using A List MethodPracticing Social Anxiety SkillsChanging Your MentalityUsing Good Social SkillsPutting Yourself Out There

You want to meet people, make friends, and share yourself with the world, but social interactions can be especially intimidating for people who struggle with social anxiety. While many people feel nervous before a presentation or speaking event, social anxiety interferes with your normal routine and causes tremendous distress on a regular basis.You may constantly doubt your social adequacy and worry about what might happen if you receive a negative evaluation. Although therapy can be very useful for people who suffer from social anxiety disorder, there a number of techniques you can try to combat your anxiety without professional intervention.

Part 1 of 6: Recognizing Social Anxiety

  1. 1

    Understand symptoms of social anxiety. There are some common symptoms or experiences of social anxiety. Common markers of anxiety disorders include:

    [1]
    • Excessive self-consciousness and anxiety in everyday social situations
    • Extreme worry about social situations for days, weeks, or even months beforehand
    • Intense fear of being watched or judged by others, especially people you don’t know
    • Avoiding social situations to a degree that limits your activities or disrupts your life
    • Fear that you’ll humiliate yourself
    • Fear that others will notice that you’re nervous
  2. 2

    Understand physical symptoms. While experiencing anxiety affects the way you feel emotionally, your body creates triggers to clue you in on how you’re feeling. People with social anxiety may experience:

    [2]
    • Blushing
    • Shortness of breath or difficulty breathing
    • Nausea, or “butterflies”
    • Shaky hands or voice
    • Racing heartbeat
    • Sweating
    • Feeling dizzy or faint
  3. 3

    Learn to recognize your triggers. Do you feel that pang of anxiety when you walk into the classroom or the gym? Maybe certain people, like your boss or coworkers, trigger anxiety when you interact with them. Pay attention to the moments in which you feel anxiety. Also pay attention to situations you tend to avoid. Do you always sit by yourself at lunch, rather than asking to sit with others? Always turn down invitations to parties? Do you avoid using public restrooms? Some other common triggers include:

    [3]
    • Meeting new people
    • Being the center of attention
    • Being watched while doing something
    • Making small talk
    • Being called on in class
    • Making phone calls
    • Eating or drinking in public
    • Speaking up in a meeting
    • Attending parties

    Ad

Part 2 of 6: Tackling Fears Using A List Method

  1. 1

    Face your fears. Many people who suffer from social anxiety tend tend to avoid their fears rather than facing up to them. Although this can help to alleviate social anxiety in the short-term, it can actually make the anxiety worse in the long-run. Facing your fears is always difficult and requires a lot of bravery and determination, but if you want to cure your anxiety it is something you must do.

  2. 2

    Write a list of situations that trigger social anxiety. Once you’ve identified your triggers, write them down. Then, look at your list and arrange the triggers from least threatening to most threatening. At the bottom of the list might be making eye contact while speaking, in the middle may be asking a stranger for directions; the top of the list might be asking someone to a dinner date or singing karaoke.

    [5]
    • If you struggle to rank your fears, try assigning them numbers. Give a 1 to "scary" triggers, a 2 to "quite scary," and a 3 to "terrifying."
  3. 3

    Start tackling your list. Make a goal to tackle one list item every week. Start with the items you gave a “1” rating, and work up the list. You want to start with the more manageable items first and build your confidence as you attempt more and more challenging items.

    • Remember, treat the list as cumulative. When you move on to more difficult items, don't stop working the less scary situation. If you start feeling stressed and anxious, then take a short break before moving on. It’s okay to re-evaluate your goals and move at your own pace.
Part 3 of 6: Practicing Social Anxiety Skills

  1. 1

    Practice relaxation techniques. If you're struggling to feel comfortable in new social situations, learn ways to relax yourself. Meditation and exercises like yoga and tai chi are techniques you can use to calm down and prepare yourself to face your challenges calmly.

    [6]
    • If you carry tension in your muscles, tighten your whole body for three seconds (including your hands, feet, jaw, neck, etc), then release. Do this two more times and feel the tension leave your body.
    • Remember, your fear can't hurt you. Learn to recognize your body overreacting to feelings of anxiety and immediately practice calming yourself in those situations.
  2. 2

    Use breathing techniques. People who suffer from social anxiety often find themselves in situations where their panic gets the better of them and they have difficulty breathing. In this situation, one of the best ways to regain control and calm your mind is just to focus on your breathing.

    [7]
    • Inhale deeply through the nose for six seconds. Feel the breath moving down through your chest, into the pit of your stomach.
    • As you breathe focus solely on the movement of air in and out of your body.
    • Exhale slowly through your mouth for another six seconds. Repeat this exercise until you begin to feel calm again.
  3. 3

    Pick a mantra or a "pump-up" song. Recite a comforting prayer, line of poetry, or famous quotation, something that inspires you and that you can return to when feeling anxious. Find a song that inspires confidence you can listen to as you drive to a social gathering or before a big presentation.

    • Even something as simple as "I can do this" will help you center yourself and feel confident.
  4. 4

    Change your diet. Stimulants such caffeine and nicotine can increase anxiety symptoms. Alcohol can also trigger anxiety attacks, so be careful when drinking. Know the difference between drinking to calm nerves and drinking in excess.

Part 4 of 6: Changing Your Mentality

  1. 1

    Identify negative thoughts. When you experience social anxiety, chances are your thoughts are to blame in creating negative experiences, so start to observe the thoughts you have, then begin to challenge them. Some common thought patterns include:

    [9]
    • Being a mind reader – You assume you know other people’s thoughts, and they are thinking negatively about you.
    • Fortune telling – You attempt to predict the future by assuming a bad outcome. You “know” that something bad will happen so you feel anxious even before anything happens.
    • Catastrophizing – You assume the worst situation can and will happen to you.
    • Making it about you – You assume that others are negatively focusing on you or assume that what other people are doing or saying is about you.
  2. 2

    Challenge your negative thoughts. Once you have learned to identify your negative thoughts, you must begin to analyze and challenge them.

    [10]
    Ask yourself questions about the thought and test whether or not it's really true. Use logic and evidence to disprove these automatic, negative thoughts.
    [11]
    • For instance, if you are afraid to go to a party because everyone will notice that you're nervous and sweating, try something like, "Wait a minute. I was invited to this party because these people are my friends and they want to see me and spend time with me. There will be tons of people there, do I really think I'm going to be the focus of their attention? Will my friends even care if they notice that I'm nervous?"
  3. 3

    Use positive affirmations.

    [12]
    Instead of engaging in negative thoughts, replace them with positive thoughts. When a negative thought pops up, follow the same protocol of first challenging that thought with evidence to the contrary, then give yourself a positive message to say to yourself.
    • For instance, if you think, "No one really wants me to come to the party," you can challenge that with: "I would not have been invited if they didn't want me there. The hostess even texted me yesterday to say she really hopes I can make it." Then look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself: "I will not let my anxiety control me. I am funny and fun to be around, and anyone would be lucky to have me as a friend."
    • Other positive affirmations for someone dealing with social anxiety might be: "I am better than my anxiety," or, "Nothing is wrong with me. I have anxiety, and that's okay."
      [13]
    • You can also write positive messages on sticky notes and put them around your house or stick them to your mirror.
  4. 4

    Decrease your self-focus. To reduce the concentration on yourself, engage with your surroundings. Observe the people around you and your environment. Focus on listening to what is being said, and stay away from engaging negative thoughts.

    [14]
    • When you notice yourself focusing on your thoughts or what people think of you, flip your attention away from yourself and don't engage the self-criticism.
  5. 5

    Assign less value to the responses of others. Lots of anxiety comes from feelings of being judged. Other people may not always agree with you or respond to you, but this is not a reflection on you or your abilities. Everyone experiences social interactions where they get along with other people great, and times where they don't hit it off. It's just part of life, and has nothing to do with how likable you are. You're working toward comprehensive confidence, so what matters most is that you're working on your list. You're trying!

    [15]
Part 5 of 6: Using Good Social Skills

  1. 1

    Ask questions. One of the easiest ways to get more comfortable in one-on-one conversations or group discussions is to ask questions. You'll put others at ease if you ask sincere and open-ended questions. Start with general questions, such as “What have you been up to today?” or “How did your presentation go?”

    [16]
    • Open-ended questions allow the responder to say whatever she wants to say, without being confined to a simple yes or no. If you ask, “Do you want to see that movie?” it may not elicit as much of a response as “What do you think about that movie?”
  2. 2

    Listen actively and curiously. This can make all the difference in the world. When you listen, you show that you are engaged in what someone is saying, and that’s it’s important and interesting to you. Listen to what someone else says and then respond to her comments. Think about what she’s saying, and allow her to finish her statements without interrupting.

    [17]
    • Pay attention to your body language. This is a big factor in conversation, even though it is unspoken. Don't look over someone's head, but try to make eye contact.
    • Listening intently also prepares you to ask good follow-up questions.
  3. 3

    Communicate assertively. This style of communication means you are able to express feelings, thoughts, beliefs, needs and opinions while still respecting the rights of others. When you are assertive, you respect yourself and others.

    [18]
    • Learn to be okay with saying "No." It can be very difficult for some people to say no, but saying yes or agreeing to something you can't or don't really want to do can cause stress and resentment. Take care of yourself and say "No" when you need to.
    • Be direct, keep a neutral tone of voice and body language. Make your needs clear, and understand that being assertive doesn't necessarily mean getting exactly what you want.
      [19]
    • If you’re within a group at a meeting or at a party, try talking in a moderately louder voice than you usually do. Make eye contact and speak decisively. This projects confidence and will command presence.
Part 6 of 6: Putting Yourself Out There

  1. 1

    Prepare for social situations. Practice relaxation beforehand, and read a paper to have talking points to engage with people at social events. Prepare a comment to make at a meeting, or have a topic from the radio to discuss over lunch. If you have to stand up in front of a large group of people to give a presentation or speech, being prepared will give you extra confidence.

    [20]
    • Try learning your speech by heart. This will help you to avoid forgetting any important points on the day itself.
  2. 2

    Ask your friends or family for support. Especially as you begin to tackle more and more daunting fears, reach out to your support network to help you.

    • If you have to attend a large event, such as a party or conference, bring a close friend or family member along with you for support. Just having a familiar person close can make a huge difference in your confidence levels. If you start to feel overwhelmed, turn to your friend and try to keep your mind off your nerves.
  3. 3

    Expand your social circle. People who suffer from social anxiety can find it very difficult to put themselves out there and meet new people. However, this is an essential part of overcoming anxiety and moving forward with your life.

    • Think of an activity that you enjoy, whether it's knitting, horse riding, or running, and find a group of people in your area who share this interest. You will find it much easier to strike up a conversation with people who have similar interests to your own.
    • If you get invited to a party or event, make sure you say yes. People with social anxiety tend to shy away from group gatherings, but this can cause you to feel even more isolated and unhappy. Make an effort to go to any social gathering (even if it’s only for half an hour). You need to push yourself out of your comfort zone if you want to get better.
  4. 4

    Take a social skills or assertiveness training class. Taking a class to gain skills is a great way to learn and practice your social skills and assertiveness. Get to know the people in your class and practice your skills with them.

    [21]
  5. 5

    Make an appointment with a therapist. If, after working on confronting your anxiety triggers for a while, you're still having trouble moving down the list and still suffering from severe anxiety, or if your anxiety is debilitating, talk to a professional

  6. Tips

    • Be true to yourself. Remember that you don't have to do anything you don't want to do socially. Be comfortable and set goals that you want to accomplish.
    • Realize that not everyone you think is confident really is confident. Many people pretend to be confident, when in fact they are afraid, too.
    Warnings

    • Full-fledged physical panic attacks may need physical attention by trained physicians. Seek out the trained professions inside hospitals and doctors offices, once you notice any of the symptoms occur. Some of these symptoms include (but are not limited to): shortness of breath, shaking, light-headedness, and/or chest pain.

【evenSun的回答(6票)】:

焦虑…

大概是那种对现在生活产生怀疑但是又想不清楚哪里不对,明明面前还有一堆事没有做,但就是不想做的状态吧……

对…就是现在的我

【小晨晨是乖孩子的回答(2票)】:

负面情绪的意义是告诉你,你病了。

阅读完本文还推荐您阅读: 为什么人们对乱伦有一种抵触心

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